Where does time go? End of July soon and I haven't seen a hint of summer. Emotionally, it's been a roller coaster ride. After a distinct improvement, in the past week, things have gotten confused.I don't know if it's a stage of the illness, but in the past few days Mum has been talking constantly, as though she is thinking out loud. By the end of the day, I'm bushed. Or she asks permission for everything she does. I know she is feeling anxiety, and just my presence doesn't seem to be enough. It's heartbreaking. I distinctly feel that she has capitulated and handed adulthood over to me. I just don't feel I can take that on, but then I know I have no choice.
And she misses people. My brother, for example who is away on vacation. She says that life is sad, when she refers to him and I have to agree with her. My brother has "disengaged" himself. Sometimes she forgets his name (and I don't blame her).
I feel so inept.
2 comments:
don't feel inept, you are doing a good job. It is strange how we get used to the rhythms...we can't do anything about the people who don't show up except try to forgive them
You are kind, Anonymous. Thank you.
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